Coincidences

For my birthday, I cruised Barnes and Noble. Being around books and reading 20 or so pages from any book in there is my way to relax when my migraines aren't subsiding or my nerves won't calm down. Seeing as I hadn't slept in days and needed to catch up on all my homework that I fell behind on... I went to calm down in the book store.

I came across a book by Robert Moss, which I bought as my bday gift :) It's called The Three "Only" Things: Tapping the Power of Dreams, Coincidence, and Imagination

In the 20 pages I read before deciding to buy it, I read all about instances of coincidence. Some might think this is a little hokey-poky... and I respect that. But if I could tell you some of the things that have been going on since my accident that are just way too perfectly timed to be just a coincidence - you might think differently.

These past two or three weeks alone, I have had some of the most BIZARRE coincidences. Including having a friend from 2005 whom I met during a week long Habitat for Humanity build (in TX) find me on a networking site... the coincidence is that I had completely been thinking about my trip out there and thinking about how I wish I hadn't lost touch while clearing out the numbers in my cellphone DAYS before he found me.

Another was spotting a book that caught my eye - went over and turns out it is EXACTLY who I need to teach me a ton of things that will help me 'change the world' with my research. The coincidences: first page I started to read announced that her therapist shared my lovely first name; it discusses the exact things I had just stumbled on that day and needed more info on; and in one chapter she talked about her summer vacations - IN MY HOMETOWN?! huh??

Last example I'll throw out there. I was trying to find an objective measure for my research on June 25th - found something that might work... might not be it... looking around the cite to see where they're located? Totally came across a convention they were showing this $5,000 machine at: where else but in Boston, at the nursing convention that was held... dun dun dun... June 25th and 26th. (and I still didn't make it down there...)

So the last three days I've been thinking of someone who I held very close to me for many years in college. A few nights ago, I had the best dream reliving some of the time I spent with this person. I haven't felt so comforted and safe in a long time... it was a really great dream where I just couldn't stop smiling and didn't want to wake up. But I have no idea what made me think of this person. Made me miss them, though. A ton. These coincidences lately have made me also paranoid (haha!) I'm going to run into them and not be able to see them because my vision stinks... or I'd actually see them again or hear from them and not know what to say... or they wouldn't recognize me... or it would hurt all over again.

But nothing yet, and maybe I'm just freaking myself out :) hehe With all honesty, though, I'd love to hear from them more than anything these past few days. Or at least send some good Karma their way :)

I'm About to Change the World

What this little Tough Girl (aka: ME!) needs:

1) Research Funding

2) Objective measure of variables of interest that will bring medicine and neuropsychology together

3) Participants with verified symptoms of interest from a recognized diagnosis

4) Connections to the NHL/MLB/NFL/Army to test some participants who have sustained obvious concussions


So how do you feel about that??

---------------------------------------------------------

I'm on to something big. Actually, no. Correction: I'm on to something GINORMOUS. (yes, that's a real word as of the 2007 copyright of Merriam-Webster's Dictionary).

I've put together a ton of information. I just haven't been able to put it into a concise readable document yet. I have support from a few professors and even my neuropsychologist that thinks I have a legit clinical trial on my hands... and will train me on his equipment to do the work... Phew!

Also, my neuropharm advisor thinks I'm on to something he hasn't been considering in his mTBI research. And I think he's going to let me do some work in his lab to prove a connection between certain variables and how it affects learning and memory. But that isn't working with people, it's working with Murine rats.

Over my recovery, I would have more and more times where I would feel this brilliant. But it would only last a day... once every two months. I call them EUREKA moments!! In essence, I feel like I could cure cancer. And not because I'm manic and having grandiose delusions, but because I'm legitimately wicked smaht.

This Eureka moment has been going on for about a month. Straight. Well, with a few days of exhaustion in between.

I've fallen extremely behind on my psychology classes. As of June 1st, my work load tripled. I'm at the point where I could probably sustain a job of SOME sort (wooo!!) but I want my energy to be pumped into this research. I think I could change the world this this. But it's got to be pro bono because I'm not really associated on a payroll with anyone who would be open to these kinds of new projects.

But I'm completely running on fumes in my financial realm (after maxing out both my credit cards and being denied further credit). But I don't want to just give someone else the idea - because there are so many intricate details that not only relate to psychology, but will pull in neurologist and pharmacy and the healthcare community could begin to see (and fucking believe!!...'scuz the swear) the problems going on in brain injuries that have NO MEDICALLY OBJECTIVE EVIDENCE. I don't want anything to be missed and not considered.

I want to cater to people who are working their hardest to do just as much as they can do and are frustrated. I want to cater to people who look so great. I want to do this for people who are told there's nothing wrong with them and they need to "lower their standards for themselves and the doctor's who are treating them." I want to give them the data that proves that the doctor's actually shouldn't be lowering their own standards because they are working with a patient that is extremely smart.

I just want to help people feel better. And it's coming together. I just have a few more steps to go.

I'm about to change the world. But I still need a little help... If you have any ideas - let me know!!!! PLEASE!!! Even your supportive prayers will be heard :) and thank you in advance!!